Looking for at least one post that doesn’t tell you how fucking smart Joe Banner is? Just one write-up that doesn’t tell you, Mr. Browns Fan, that you’re a petulant child for expecting a competitive team this year? One piece that calls bullshit on the Banner regime’s performance to date? And what in the hell does the Carmen Policy era have to do with any of this???
Look no further.
Three items today and I’ll sum up the Kanick take up top for you:
- Trent Richardson trade. (Yes, it’s good value. Don’t care. You punted the season and didn’t have to.)
- National types and local schoolmarms telling us a 1-15 season is smart. (General disdain for media lapdogs telling every Browns fan who expected a season of improvement that we’re idiots for being pissed.)
- Since when did a high draft pick become a guarantee of team success? (The myth of magical first round QBs exposed.)
Richardson trade *is* good value. But that’s not the problem here.
I actually think Browns got good value on T-Rich. I haven’t been a Richardson fan and I’ve pointed out why on several occasions. Basically, I think he runs soft. Got no Beast Mode. Stops before contact. Been like this since his Bama days. See below and below that.
So I’m ok with the value received in return for the trade. I would also say the Browns got good value on their auction of 2012 draft picks. Browns also have an efficient payroll structure as demonstrated by their $25M in cap space.
None of these “good management practices” add up to even an attempt at winning football in 2013 and thus these “smart moves” amount to a steaming crap in the middle of the Munilot. All of these moves say, “We assume you will continue coming to losing games because we’ve improved the ‘fan experience.'” Banner don’t care if he wins this year, next year, or the year after that. (Has anyone heard a timetable or a tangible goal for this organization?) All I read is that he has to get ‘his own guys’ on the roster like that’s normal. (He’s no Don Shula.*) To expect him to win Heckert’s guys is unreasonable.
I say bullshit.
Don’t think the Browns could have competed this year? Really?
You know how this could have played out in 2013? If Berea actually wanted to win this year? If Berea actually gave a more fucks about their fans than their god damn office furniture and the murals, my god, the murals?
Because this is a formula that was available to Banner thanks to the pristine salary structure bequeathed him by Tom Heckert. It goes like this:
- Do not dump 4-3 defense;
- Sign CB Keenan Lewis;
- Sign OG Andy Levitre;
- Sign TE Dustin Keller;
- Trade back with Rams;
- Draft QB EJ Manuel;
- Draft OLB Jamie Collins;
- Draft OG Brian Winters;
- Draft FB Kyle Juszczyk;
- Draft FS Bacarri Rambo;
- Extend C Alex Mack.
You had six holes (CB2, OG, LB, FS, TE, FB), they’re now all patched. You’ve got your o-line set for the next five years. You’ve got two lock-down CBs. You’ve added speed at LB. You’ve got a playmaking TE. And you’ve got your QB.
Tell me that’s not a playoff team.
How hard was that?
This is not me second guessing. Most of those moves we proposed here at the time. (Ok I was not an EJ Manuel fan.) (But the Browns had him in for a workout, so how’d they miss/pass on him? And why hasn’t anyone asked?)
And it’s not like there’s no precedent for one year tranformations. Here’s the list of teams who went from below .500 to the Super Bowl in the next year:
- 2000 Pats, 5-11; 2001 SB Champs
- 1998 Rams, 4-12; 1999 SB Champs
- 1980 Niners, 6-10; 1981 SB Champs
- 2002 Panthers, 7-9; 2003 SB loser
- 1999 Giants, 7-9; 2000 SB loser
- 1997 Falcons, 7-9; 1998 SB loser
- 1995 Pats, 6-10; 1996 SB loser
- 1987 Bengals, 4-11; 1988 SB loser
- 1980 Bengals, 6-10; 1981 SB loser
Haven’t looked it up but take that list x10 for ‘below .500 teams who make playoffs next year.’ But of course those teams actually tried to win in the year after their bad one. And they sure wouldn’t have gotten their belly rubbed if they tanked their season.
So why does Banner get a free pass? What the HELL has Banner ever done to deserve the slack he’s been cut? I don’t know.
“The Browns are going to go 1-15 this year, but their fans should cheer like it is 15-1” and other asinine national takes.
But slack he is cut.
Inevitably, the national wags are weighing in on how smart this is. Fuck. Them. They haven’t watched the most boring team in pro football since 2008 and they won’t be watching them this year. WE WILL. So they can fuck off with their measured responses on how smart Banner is. He’s not football smart; he’s not people smart. He’s manipulative smart maybe because lookit: he’s got national writers telling fans to give him an indefinite time frame for this reboot on the promise that it will get better. Like we haven’t heard this story before.
We. Know. Better.
It does not get better. It stays the same. In order to win, you have to try to win. Now. Trying to win in the next five years has produced 14 years of shit. One playoff road loss in fourteen fucking years. So just FUCK OFF national media. Fuck off with how smart Banner is.
… presuming the Browns tank their way to a Top 3 pick (2-14! Better yet: 1-15, just to be safe!) and presuming the Colts get enough productivity from Richardson to finish within the periphery of the playoffs, turning the Browns’ pick into somewhere between Nos. 17-22.
How about Jadeveon Clowney and Johnny Manziel?
I do not like the sound of that, ASSHOLE. We just fucking signed three fucking pass rush FAs and used our fucking 6th pick on another one, ASSHOLE.
And no thanks on another over-hyped Texas QB.
What. The. Fuck. is wrong with these d-bags who fly by with these clueless Browns takes.
Slack granted even from our own fans.
But it’s not just national guys. Look at these Stockholm Syndrome Browns fan tweets. Good lord, they’re signing on to another three years of suck on the promise that maybe it’ll be different from the last four regimes who promised good things if we’d just wait through three years of suck.
Camen Policy has nothing to do with the 2013 roster. It is irrelevant.
It is this complacency that enables the continual acceptance of mediocrity. Scratch that, we’re not mediocre. We’re the fucking Jaguars in better uniforms. (For now.)
Yes, I get that we’re stuck with them. I mean, can I do anything about it? No. Wait. Maybe. I mean I gave them the freaking roadmap, all they had to do was read my blog. But even if I can’t effect change for the Browns, I’m not going to sit quietly for this blown season. I’m damn sure not going to applaud.
If I’m completely honest, I’ll probably be actively rooting against them. Berea hates me? I’ll hate them right back.
The myth of the first round QB.
All these smartness assessments are predicated on the presumption that you just draft yourself Peyton Manning or Andrew Luck and sail merrily along. THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS. What is with national d-bags selling the myth of deferred gratification to us? TO US??? Like we haven’t been down this road before?
But damn, they close ranks tight.
Here’s Dane Brugler. He’s a draft guy and a decent one. He wants you to know he’s one of us. Wants you to know things will get better in some indefinite timeframe somewhere sometime blah, blah, blah.
Are the Browns throwing up the white flag after two games already? Easy to say so, but this trade was about one thing: the chance to get better.
Easy to say so? Then SAY SO. The answer, Dane, is yes. Yes they are throwing up the white flag. You say you’re one of us, but you’re not one of us. I doubt you got anywhere close to the Browns/Ravens game last week and –quick– who do the Browns play this weekend and will you be watching?
But then he goes on to trot out the myth of a ‘sure-thing QB’ in the draft:
After all, this is a quarterback league. Looking forward to the quarterbacks who could be available for the 2014 NFL Draft, Teddy Bridgewater, Brett Hundley and Marcus Mariota all project highly to the next level, but all are underclassmen and there is no guarantee they’ll be available next May.
The ONLY guarantee, Dane, is that tanking a season will yield more shitty football for the Browns. Like.. you’re the draft guy. JaMarcus Russell? Vince Young? Do these names ring any bells? Here, I’ll help. These are the first round QBs since 2007 and my call on whether they’re cutting it:
|EJ Manuel – push||Andrew Luck – good||Robert Griffin III – push||Matthew Stafford – push|
|Ryan Tannehill – push||Brandon Weeden – bad||Cam Newton – push||Matt Ryan – good|
|Jake Locker – push||Blaine Gabbert – bad||Christian Ponder – push||Brady Quinn – bad|
|Sam Bradford – good||Tim Tebow – bad||Joe Flacco – good||JaMarcus Russell – bad|
|Mark Sanchez – bad||Josh Freeman – push|
That’s a record of 4-6-8 or 44% chance of getting a good QB. Hardly the guarantee Browns fans are being sold. Don’t like that stat? Want to go with a top ten picks for the last ten years?
|Andrew Luck – good||Robert Griffin III – push||Ryan Tannehill – push||Cam Newton – push|
|Jake Locker – push||Blaine Gabbert – bad||Sam Bradford – good||Matthew Stafford – push|
|Mark Sanchez – bad||Matt Ryan – good||JaMarcus Russell – bad||Vince Young – bad|
|Matt Leinart – bad||Alex Smith – push||Eli Manning – good||Philip Rivers – good|
|Carson Palmer – push||Byron Leftwich – push|
That’s 5-5-8 or 50%.
So we’re tanking this season for a 50% chance of getting a good QB.
I’ll even take you through it in the opposite direction. Here are last year’s top five QBs (by passing yards):
- Brees (2nd round);
- Stafford (#1 overall);
- Romo (undrafted);
- Brady (6th rd);
- Ryan (#3 overall).
And we haven’t even talked about Kaepernick (2nd rd) or Wilson (3rd rd).
The “tank the season for your franchise quarterback” strategy is magic beans.
Just try to find a national wag who will step up and say that’s not great odds and Browns fans are getting porked by their front office again. Won’t happen. If I gave away t-shirts, I’d give away a t-shirt to the guy who can find a paid national writer (or even a local one) who tells Browns fans what they already know: Banner is porking you.
And then there’s Jason La Canfora.
Of course this ball washer is humping Banner’s leg again. Blaming the other guys as usual. Heaven forfend that the Banner regime should have to use any of existing resources, any of Heckert’s players. That’s just not done. No, they must bring in their own players, their own defensive system, and Browns fans.. you just go wait quietly in the corner for the next three, four years while we wise national media types tell you how smart this all is. Here’s a cherry picked quote from an anonymous scout:
“A first for an adequate back with injury issues? They could get that player next year in the mid to late rounds. Get an adequate dude for a later pick. Everyone has depth at that position.”
I know Mr. Anonymous Scout, it’s sooo weird that a team (Colts) is trying actually to win this year. What morons, huh? And of course everyone knows the Colts are –repeat after me– due to regress this year. If you don’t believe Barnwell and everyone else at Grantland, then check out this laughable excuse for a prediction on the Colts’ record: “PredictionMachine.com projects the Colts to finish tied for the fifth-worst record in the league with Minnesota and Oakland.”
HAHAHAHA. Colts will be in the playoffs this year. I’m stuck with my turd Browns.
It’s fucking September and we’re playing for next May.
Your move Alex Mack.
If I’m Alex Mack, I’ve got my hand raised: trade me next because I’m sure as shit not re-signing for more of this shit show.
Meantime, Joe Banner still sits on $27M in cap space; $14M of which is rollover from 2012 and not available** for use next year. If you’re not making a run at Jay Cutler with that cash, you’re dead to me.
LeCharles Bentley gets it.
His interview on Bull and Fox is on the money and worth a listen.
* This all reminds me of the famous Bum Phillips quote regarding Don Shula: “He can take his’n and beat your’n and take your’n and beat his’n.”
** Didn’t know that 2012 cap rollover vanishes at the end of the year? Here’s the link.
Does it continue to rollover like cellphone minutes?
No. Rollover money from 2012 into 2013 is treated as “adjusted cap.” Any unused “adjusted” money in 2013 cannot be rolled over again into 2014.